This week’s question is: How are you doing … and compared to who(m) or what?
Everything is relative, right? No less than Einstein, his own self, said so!
However, what’s dangerous about benchmarking is that we can always identify someone less “special”, less “good”, less worthy, less “balanced”, less intelligent – however nuanced we want or need to define the comparisons field – than we are. It doesn’t change the field of play or any associated reality. It merely changes how big or small the box is in which we choose to confine ourselves.
We’ll even make things up – or dress them down – or even go to the bottom of the barrel for comparisons, insofar as necessary to make us feel comparatively more special/entitled/worthy or enfranchised for certain privileges.
This is “elitism” at its worst. Tribal tenets are often elitism based: “My tribe is better than your tribe [and we’re even going to build a HUGE wall to keep you out of our territory – HUGE!”]
Another subtle trap of “virtual benchmarking” is adopting the conjecture that “Everybody is doing it!” … never mind that this takes us DOWN to everyone else’s level rather than elevating us. Just for the record, here’s a brief reality check on exactly what “everyone else” is NOT doing:
Everyone else” is NOT …
… drinking a case of beer – or two – every weekend
… “drugging out” on opiates or sports
… using tobacco
… watching 6 hours of TV per day / bingeing on YouTube, movies and sit-coms
… having a frappuccino and 3 donuts every day / dessert every meal
… connected to social media 24 hours a day
… getting by on “credit”, excuses and explanations
… using mood-altering/mind-altering drugs just to cope with reality
… surviving on burgers, fries, soda and milkshakes
… “getting away” with everything we might want for ourselves
… as “stress-free” as they would like us to believe or as we would like to think they are
The select few who are, by most reasonable accounts, “Making It” ARE …
… doing regular “Reality Checks”
…fighting to stay organized and solvent
… fortified by effective life mastery routines and systems in place
… totally intentional about their nutrition, physiology and pharmacology
… getting at least 6 hours of sleep a night
… totally intentional about how they use their unscheduled time
… getting at least a modicum of exercise
… setting and strictly following boundaries
… doing “unpleasantries” first
… delaying gratification and sacrificing indulgences
… investing in the future / planning and preparing for sustainable wellbeing
… continuing their personal and professional development
… maintaining positively reinforcing networks of personal and business associates
… generously supporting benevolent causes
… well-grounded emotionally, psychologically and spiritually
… getting recommended medical checkups & screenings
… “bullish” on regeneration/recharging/recreation
Point to Ponder
If we’re serious about benchmarking, we should legitimize the process via independent, objective assessments …
such as …
What do our friends really think of us? Are you the “Go To” person of first resort when your friends need something of value? [Perhaps, first of all, we might define “who our friends are” and how legitimate their assessment might be for who we are and where we could or should be.]
How about our professional colleagues? Are you the “Go To” person of first resort when professional associates need leadership, specialized skills or services? Are you at the “leading edge”, the following edge, or merely on the fringe and only “on call” in an emergency?
How about family? Do family members look to you for any “enlifenment” at all – other than for constant drama, making sure there are no leftovers at mealtime, being the “life of the party”, or pontification about the latest political or religious controversy? How much are you contributing, personally, to the overall advancement and ascendency of family values and wellbeing?
Finally, what does my boss really think of me? Jack and Suzy Welch [referenced in Costco Connection, April 2015, p. 25] suggest asking ourselves the following:
Am I aligned with the team’s mission and values? Alignment takes the grind out of the game of business.
Am I contributing to an atmosphere of truth and trust? Ultimately, bosses value employees who show integrity by seeking and speaking the truth, and always acting in ways that enhance transparency and confidence. [NOTE: TRUSTWORTHINESS is a key Life Mastery characteristic.]
Am I delivering expected/average results, or over-delivering s-t-r-e-t-c-h results? Competition is fierce, requiring companies to sell more with different products through new channels sooner. Think about your job in ways that make it bigger, smarter and more successful. That’s over-delivering.
Final Point to Ponder
While benchmarking can be a helpful exercise, it does not tell all. What really matters is being the best YOU, no matter what others say, do, think or feel! Set the highest benchmark for yourself that you can muster, and let it be a standard for OTHERS to measure themselves against. Quartermaster