We need to talk. Seriously.
In case you were looking for / hoping for / counting on your “ship” to come in or your Prince or Princess to ride by on a white horse or the “Dream Job Offer” to come to your door, I feel compelled to break the sobering news that an idyllic life involving any of these things does not exist!
Life emerges from the transient safety of a tightly protected “cocoon” of infancy into a relatively protected experience of childhood into a vast, decreasingly protective universe of increasingly larger risks, barriers and hurdles to be overcome in the course of “Becoming” whoever it is we are to become … generally against a lot of very tough odds.
For starters, at some point, we have to give up our beliefs in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and the concept of “Trick-or-Treat” gleaning as cornerstones of a life well-lived.
In the parable “Life Is Like a Great Waterway”, we learn that advancement in the world requires us to move progressively from small pond wading and splashing into deeper and deeper waters – eventually “over our heads” – that may, in fact, require us to “swim with the sharks”.
Our bodies grow and differentiate through a series of awkward and unfamiliar stages to which we have to adjust … even as we yearn to enjoy the benefits of maturation – like becoming stronger, becoming more independent, becoming more “respectable”, being able to go out with friends, dating, getting a driver’s license, etc.
But reality is tough. The world does NOT, sad and sobering as it may seem, revolve around US. Yes, our parents are stupid and imperfect (up until we learn that at least they’re not stupid). Our teachers are imperfect. Our friends are imperfect. And WE are imperfect. We do stupid things and we make poor choices and we don’t always – if ever – totally “Get It Right”. We have to DEAL with all of that, and still navigate off balance with some sense of “Right Reckoning”, progression and advancement.
Reality includes the fact that we are incomplete for the duration … always “Becoming”. It is not enough to get a high school diploma … or a college diploma … or to acquire physiologically mature bodily functions.
It is not enough to finally “get a job” … and then stop “looking for work” (Zig Ziglar).
Life’s demands continue to increase. It is important to understand this: The first $300,000 in financial-equivalency support required to get us from birth to age 18 is provided gratis by parents, the community and state and federal governments – with the expectation that, during that time, we will become more-or-less self-sufficient. The final $1.4 million required to get us to and through retirement (averaging $35,000 per year for 40 years just for cost-of-living fundamentals) is all on US! Savings for retirement is EXTRA!
Finally, the life force of the universe is not going to bend to accommodate our personal proclivities – no matter how earnestly we pursue those proclivities or seek to exercise our perceived entitlements. The more closely our proclivities are aligned with those of the universe we choose to inhabit, the more we will be accommodated, but not until then.
THE GOOD NEWS IS THIS …
- We don’t have to do it all by ourselves! The more capacitized we become, the more valuable we become to others, the more “useful” we become, the more RESPECT we engender, the more we will benefit from a “Bandwagon Effect” … in which significant others support our efforts, our development and our advancement.
- WE get to define our own GOALS / PURPOSE / MISSION / PASSION in life. We need to do this as early as possible, and make it BIG enough for a lifetime of unreserved effort. VISIONING the farthest horizon that best fits, and persistently VECTORING toward that horizon with TOTAL INTENTIONALITY, will make all the other stuff irrelevant.
- We need to become ENGAGED with significant other people. Carefully cultivated ASSOCIATIONS and AFFILIATIONS will critically strengthen and solidify our passport to wherever it is we’re going.
- Life’s formula is really quite simple:
“Do what you’re supposed to do,
And life will turn out the way it’s supposed to be.”
Proverb found on an old Farm House Calendar
Point to Ponder
“The upside of painful knowledge [and experience]
is so much greater
than the downside of blissful ignorance [and defiant disengagement].”
Sheryl Sandberg
Life is personal. Everything we deserve is going to take everything we’ve got – personally. Life is OUR challenge, OUR opportunity, OUR problem … OURS to get right or suffer the consequences. Let’s get as much “Right” as we possibly can, and suffer the BEST consequences we can muster! Quartermaster
