Ever since Adam and Eve – and perhaps even eons before Adam and Eve – life has been a struggle for most folks much of the time … getting enough food to eat, protecting against life-threatening incursions, dealing with in-laws and outlaws, competing against folks who have nothing better to do than outsmart, undermine and outdo us, working for never-satisfied bosses, living with never-satisfied parents, sharing a bathroom with six other people, etc.
Here are some additional things with which more than a few people struggle: Can’t find a job, can’t hold a job, smothered in debt, unhappy at work, poor relationships, poor health, unreliable transportation, unstable home life, too many restrictions, too many dependencies, limited life & work options, uninsured, too few affirmations, always dealing in emergency situations, each perturbation is a catastrophe, can’t afford necessary repairs/upgrades or amenities …
The truth is: Life’s Tough!
The CHALLENGES are formidable
The RESPONSIBILITIES are awesome
The EXPECTATIONS are out-of-sight, and
TIME is always too short
I’m taking the liberty here of suggesting there are two fundamental kinds of struggle:
Necessary
And
Unnecessary
Very simply, struggling “necessarily” is struggling to do what we’ve gotta do … whether or NOT we understand or accept the fact that we’ve gotta DO what we’ve gotta DO.
Two special cases of “struggling unnecessarily” require acknowledgement:
The first falls to those who have to navigate unnecessarily difficult circumstances. If you were born in Syria or Yemen or thousands of other places, including Germany during Hitler’s reign, you would have had imponderably difficult circumstances to navigate. If you have ever had to endure abuse either from family or persons in authority or from back-street bullying, you would have imponderably difficult circumstances to navigate … and you would struggle unnecessarily. Often, the only way to overcome such unnecessary struggle is to become removed from the circumstances. Easier said than done, of course! But this is precisely why there is such an overwhelming emigration of massive numbers of people out of Africa and the Middle East seeking less imponderably difficult circumstances in Europe and the US.
The second special case of struggling unnecessarily falls to those who were born with or who acquire a debilitating chronic disease or condition. Such condition may not be surmountable and may represent a “new normal” for that individual.
I personally believe that the more richly Blessed and less encumbered of humankind have a significant responsibility to assist those trapped in such difficult circumstances / unrecoverable conditions navigate the vicissitudes of life.
Now to brass tacks. The most insidious case of struggling “unnecessarily” arises, most curiously, from NOT doing what we’ve gotta do. Such inattention to “necessities” leads to the accumulation not only of the stuff we’ve “gotta do” anyway, but of the associated adverse consequences and delayed ramifications of not doing what we’ve gotta do.
Errant preconceived notions about how the world works – or should … but doesn’t – constitute the most frequent source of unnecessary struggles. Who struggles the most “unnecessarily”?
Those who don’t know the rules, who don’t accept the rules, who want to make up their own rules … living life on their own terms, relying on unfounded assumptions, having unrealistic expectations, banking on unwarranted entitlements …
Added to the natural inclination that we’d simply rather NOT if we don’t HAVE TO, this leaves us in dire straits, perpetually – and unnecessarily – eternally “clawing our way back” from the precipice of “not making it”.
NOTE: It’s not all our fault! We didn’t get to this point without the enabling of society at large and of our very own parents making life LOOK and BE easier than it really is, while subsidizing our welfare to the tune of roughly $300,000 during our formative years … complete with Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, “allowances”, “Trick-or-Treat” gleaning, etc., while we were presumed to be capacitizing ourselves to take on the mantle of autonomy / independence, but chose, rather, to defy all the authority we could get away with!
A final special case falls to those who not only struggle “necessarily” to meet expectations but struggle “unnecessarily” to EXCEED expectations. Struggling “unnecessarily” in this case substantially advances the individual and his or her “stock” in life, and is the gold standard for success!
Bottom Line: Do the necessities. As the man in the automotive service commercial used to say,
“You can pay me now [to change your oil],
or you can pay me later [to replace your engine].”
And then do as much MORE as you can manage. Add VALUE. Add a PERSONAL TOUCH. Force the issue in creating your own Destiny by struggling “unnecessarily” to make an exceptional difference.
Treat the “necessities” as an inextricable part of living … even as part of the family:
“He ain’t heavy,
He’s my brother.”
Boy’s Town Nebraska Motto
Necessities are part of the “Cost of Living” which you can’t disown, else you disown your own Destiny. QM
“Years ago, it had occurred to me that Darwin and Nietzsche agreed on one thing: the defining characteristic of the organism is striving. Describing life otherwise was like painting a tiger without stripes. After so many years of living with death [as in Stage IV Lung Cancer], I’d come to understand that the easiest [path] wasn’t necessarily the best. … We would carry on living [… with all of its striving], instead of dying.” Paul Kalanithi
